Absolutely the fuck not. Elf on the shelf pin.

If I could catapult that bastard elf into space, I would. FUCK YOU ELF. 

December is stressful enough without spending every night at 11pm constructing an elaborate crime scene for a small plastic twat. 

Elf on the Shelf? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT.

For parents who refuse to take on one more fucking Christmas job. Or maybe you just have one and deeply regret it. 

Diamanté-detailed enamel and metal pin with a hand-inked, pearlescent acrylic banner. 

For scale, the banner is about 4 cm wide, so this is a small pin.